Voldemort and Wormtail
by FloppyWandedDementorBuggerer
Summary: This is a day in the life of Wormtail taking care of an 'infant' Voldemort. Before GoF, non-slash! I'll make more if you're interested R&R!


Title: Voldemort and Wormtail

Author: FloppyWandedDementorBuggerer 

Rating: K+ I suppose.

Pairings: NONE

Genre: Humor/Friendship

Warnings: UGLY BABY VOLDEMORT! XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Summary: This is a day in the life of Wormtail taking care of an 'infant' Voldemort.

"Take me out." Voldemort rasped to Wormtail from his bundle of blankets.

They was in a seemingly abandoned muggle home in the outskirts of a small town. They had been there for a while now, alone and living meekly.

Wormtail looked down at the small bundle of evilness and smiled. Voldemort couldn't see it from his position.

"Yes, my Lord."

Wormtail used his wand to change his appearance to a young woman, probably in her late twenties, and transfigured a broken chair into a handsome baby carriage.

Wormtail silently picked up the his master and set him in the center, covering him up with the blanket, all except his face.

"My Lord," Wormtail said in his high pitched voice, "Where do you want to go?"

"Take me to the ice cream shop." Voldemort commanded.

"Yes, my Lord."

Wormtail pushed the carriage four blocks to town where a small ice cream shop was. They entered and took their usual spots in the back. Wormtail left the carriage to order the ice creams.

"Oh, honey look!" A muggle woman said to her husband a table away, "It's a baby!"

She smiled warmly as she stretched in her seat to look at the little darli-

"_Aahh_! What- why- what's happened to the- the _baby_?" She asked Wormtail in a squeaky scream of a voice.

"Oh! My little, er, Tom, has a rare skin condition!" Wormtail said running up and putting a ginger hand on Voldemort's head.

"Oh..." The woman blushed and looked around at the staring eyes at her outburst, "Sorry..."

The man behind the counter just sighed. This happened at least twice a week. A curious woman would look into the carriage, scream and then blush. They usually left directly afterwards.

"Here you go..." The 'my Lord' was implied as Wormtail fed some ice cream to Voldemort.

It was pretty calming when they were in public even if the people stared because Voldemort couldn't speak without being found out which also meant he couldn't threaten Wormtail. Good day.

Eventually, Voldemort turned his nose up to the ice cream which meant he was finished and that it was time to leave.

"That was fun, my Lord." Wormtail chanced once they were alone on the sidewalk.

"That woman gave me a headache." Voldemort said.

"Do you need me to fetch you a pain relief potion, my Lord?"

"No. But I need to be... Cleaned." Voldemort said. Being as frail as he was he was basically a talking new born. Wormtail mumbled a 'Yes, my Lord' and cleansed the Dark Lord with his wand. The Dark Lord didn't want to stoop down to wearing diapers. That was just humiliating.

"I'm bored." The Dark Lord said, "Read me the Daily Prophet."

"Allright." Wormtail said in a cooing voice since a couple walked by and he still resembled a woman, "I will read you a story when we- get home."

After the short walk back to the muggle house, Nagini slithered up from the garden and into the carriage.

{"How was your day?"} She asked.

{"All right, I guess. This idiot left me alone. Again. This filthy woman screamed at me and I hadn't the energy to kill her."}

"Er, My Lord, would you like me to read to you now?" Wormtail asked once they were inside the house.

"Yes."

Wormtail began his speech about all the goings on in the wizarding world while Voldemort stayed in his carriage one hand on Nagini and the other held loftily behind his head. If you were looking in, it would look grotesque, I mean, a deformed child holding onto a snake while a hairy man read to him about the current state of a murder trial? But, really, Wormtail felt the empitness he had from losing James, even though he was a traitor to him, he still felt horrible. Voldemort filled the emptiness.

"This is boring!" Voldemort yelled, "Take me to the zoo. I want to talk to some snakes."

READ AND REVIEW! IF YOU WANT MORE OF THIS, JUST ASK ;D


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